5 Steps to Avoid Stress in Our Relationships - Mother Dearest

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Karen_Pasqualucci]Karen Pasqualucci
How to Avoid Stress in our Relationships - Part One
Mother Dearest
Mothers and daughters.
Cue sentimental music and images of quality moments over steaming cups of coffee. Everyone is smiling. Tenderness and respect abounds.
Now back to reality.
Not everyone has a Hallmark card relationship with their mothers. Many grown women, with thriving relationships and balanced lives, are at a loss when it comes to the one woman who gave them life.
Some exist in a war zone with verbal grenades flying back and forth, while others are engaged in a silent battle of control and manipulation.
Even the lucky ones, whose mothers do not undermine, criticize or berate cannot escape the occasional relationship trauma.
Stress in our relationships is unavoidable, and women are more prone to it than men. We are born with greater capacity to relate and communicate. We are masters in the intimate art of socializing with one another thus deeming us more susceptible to its pitfalls.
When it comes to our Mothers we are at our most vulnerable. There is something about them that can drive us to the edge of insanity and back again until we are immobilized in our own rut.
How can we avoid the inevitable stress that accompanies us along the way?
*Acceptance
There are certain things about your mother you will never change. The sooner you can accept that her character is set, forged from years of living through her own stresses and anxieties, the sooner you can be free of expectations holding you back from genuine relationship.
Avoidance
Learn to recognize the warning signs of destructive behaviour. There may be a temptation to antagonize, but do not give into such a childish instinct. Poking at a wounded beast is never a good idea. Give space when space is needed.
*Analyze
Take a hard look at your life and see if there is not something you might change about yourself. Often times the people who irritate us the most do so because they are the most like us.
Try a little exercise to determine if this is the case. Write down all the things that bother you the most about your mother. Ask a trusted, close friend if any of the qualities you listed are true about yourself.
Warning! This is painful.
*Adhere
Resolve to change the qualities in yourself you find less than desirable. We may not have the power to force change upon another, but we are the author of our own stories.
*Admire
Find things to appreciate and admire about your mother. The life she has lived up to this moment has formed her into the person she is today. There is good and there is bad, but that is true for all us. Find the good. Think about the good. Focus on the good.
Stress in our relationships may be unavoidable and uncomfortable, but giving in to its destructive power, and letting it control our lives is not the answer.
"If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear."
--Winnie the Pooh
Karen Pasqualucci is a passionate, lifelong learner. She is an author, artist, entrepreneur, internationally accomplished speaker/trainer, a third degree black belt in Taijitsu and a homeschool mom of three. She shares her newest insights on her blog at http://DoodleMeanings.com and gives away free Mandalas simply to make you as addicted as she is to the pleasures of mandalas:)
Come and get 'em!
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?5-Steps-to-Avoid-Stress-in-Our-Relationships---Mother-Dearest&id=6540065] 5 Steps to Avoid Stress in Our Relationships - Mother Dearest