Escaping My Life

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Charlotte_Williams_Jackson]Charlotte Williams Jackson
As I sit here with my hands folded, I am refusing to be the kind and supportive mother and wife I have always been. That is how I feel today! Quite honestly? Lately, most days have felt that way.
So when my days feel overwhelming, over scheduled, and under appreciated, I shut down. Do I continue to function? Yes. I still cook, clean, wash, dry, fold, drop off and pick up.
But as I move in auto pilot, I am no longer connected to my children or my husband. Or not like I should.
I have conversations that revert to simple " yes "and " no " answers because I am not listening. I revert to deep sighs in moments of frustration instead of teaching my children and husband how to treat me in those moments.
There was a time when I have felt significant guilt about "auto pilot". I can't say I am proud of it, but I am aware of it.
Dr.Phil moment: "You can't fix what you don't acknowledge."
For a long time I did not realize I was so "glossed" over and "glassy eyed" in certain moments of life. So the realization is a huge accomplishment.
I am not perfect and my goal is to have less auto pilot moments and to really be " in the moment" of life. The task at hand is to find the proper coping skills, right?
That really is the purpose is to learn, to understand, and to grow. I will have a few bad days but that is okay. Right?
Having the bad days, as I stated earlier, is not the issue. But not knowing I am having a bad day and insisting that "I am fine" ( as I often do...clearing my throat) is the problem.
I now have to, with a deep breath, admit when I AM NOT FINE.
Ultimately, it is MY fault if I don't admit I am tired, scared, frustrated, or need a moment alone.
The blame falls on me for not being open, honest, and vulnerable enough to say what I need.
Once I say what I feel, I can then ask for what I need. I can't get on a plane and run away when I need time away. After talking to my friends, I realize I am not alone. We mothers can do a few practical things such as:
1. Breathe - Many times women, especially me, become so focused on finishing a task (or a lingering project ). We don't stop to take a few minutes to appreciate the projects we have completed. Taking 15 or 20 mins. to just gain a little perspective and " pat yourself on the back" for all you do.
2. Talk to our children about "mommy" time. I call it a time out. When I had small children, my time-out were during nap time. Now, I take a few minutes out of the day to have a healthy, well-rounded lunch and read a small passage from a book/magazine. This is my time... mommy time.... and my children know it.
3. Say No! Say no to projects, committees and people. If I don't have the time or energy, I don't force it.Recently, I pushed back from over commitment and over scheduling. You should try it.You won't regret it.
4. Plan a Girl's Nite out/Couple's Nite Out. We need to make us a priority. That means go out and laugh and dance.The best advice I have ever gotten was from an older mother. She said" If you don't take care of you then who will?"
I am Charlotte Williams-Jackson! I am a stay-at-home wife/mother with four great children ranging from ages 19 to 9 years old and an awesome hubby.
I write a blog called Life with Charlotte! I talk about the mistakes and failures I have endured and incorporate that into practical everyday parenting.
Website: http://www.lifewithchar.com/
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Escaping-My-Life&id=6561219] Escaping My Life