By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Dee_Waltz]Dee Waltz
In January of 2000, at the age of 36 and with 5 children still in my home, I started college. I did not go back to college, I started. I was probably old enough to be the mother of most of the students by that age. Still, I only felt that old when I discovered that one of my professors was younger than I was.
In December of 1999, I suddenly realized that I still had not done anything in my life worthy of notice. It was not that what I was doing wasn't fulfilling. Just making important phone calls, amid the peals of a traumatized three-year-old and her six-year-old tormenting brother, is nothing insignificant. Neither is producing dinner while collaborating with a 4th grader about the value of analyzing fruit mold for a science project. There were times when I could even be proud of the look of defeat in my teen's eyes when I remind him that dinner together is still my favorite form of torture. Still there was nothing about designing barrettes or signing homework that I could truly believe would make a difference in society.
I have great kids. I have spent my life postponing my beloved dreams in contented pursuit of my children's better grades, wobbly milestones and class pictures. I'm proud to be a mother. If I worked full-time maybe we could have taken them to Disneyland sooner but making sure someone was there when they got home was important to me. So why worry about what I was contributing to society? At some point during that year I had discovered that as my children got older I would need to modify the methods of how I was helping them. I became keenly aware that my example would influence them, far more, than my declarations.
Graduating at 17, getting married, and then finding myself expecting two months later was a definite deterrent to going to college at first. After that, it was a matter of either being with child or carrying one on my hip that seemed to keep me out. I always believed, like any good mother, that if I sacrificed enough for my family someday there would be time for me. But that isn't the way it happens.
When a mother sacrifices everything she is, for her family's needs, she isn't doing them a favor. In essence, she is saying what all mother's hate the most, that she is "just a mom" and is a less valued member of family and society. On the other hand, when a mother seeks to attain a greater knowledge of herself, her world and her contribution in it, she sets the standard for her children's interpretation of the women in their own lives. If they are boys they will gain a healthier respect for what a woman can accomplish, be it mother or sister or wife. If they are girls they can find, in her, the self-esteem to better prepare for their own future goals. A mother's struggle to balance an education with her family life and budget is a small price to pay for such a legacy.
Things changed that year for me. My oldest teenage daughter redressed me to fit into college, filling my closet with bell bottom jeans (Gads, have they really come back?!). My son asked me not to hang around him in stores with my new look because he said that girls thought I was his girlfriend (Bless you my son!). My daughter said it was just too weird that all of my friends were her age. Two of my youngest thought I was, "way cool" because I had a pool at my school and we all rolled our eyes when we said the word homework. My three-year-old even assumed the role of taskmaster and, putting her hands on her hips, would demand if I had finished my homework. (What's worse was when I had to admit when I hadn't!).
The biggest change was in the impact it made on my children. I was the first generation to attend college in my family. Eleven years later, my oldest boy is attending college for his business degree, my middle daughter just started college, my youngest son is making plans to attend college (he's a senior this year) and my youngest is talking about her college plans as she starts her freshman year of high school.
The year I started college, in my third semester, my oldest daughter ran away two months before her high school graduation. Fortunately, she came home on her own. She told me that she came back because she thought that if I could make the Dean's list that semester she could at least graduate. She did graduate, with a 3.6., and now 11 years later, she is working on her Bachelor degree while going to work full-time and taking care of her 2 boys. And that's what I was contributing to society...I could never have lectured her into doing that.
About The Author
Dee is the mother of 5 (ages 14-30), grandmother of 4, foster parent, Adoption Advisor, and Parenting Instructor with a little advice and humor to share. She invites you to share thoughts and stories of her family by visiting her blog, [http://laughingatthestorms.blogspot.com/]Laughing At The Storms.
(c) Copyright - R. Dee Waltz Shihady. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?College-and-Motherhood---A-Contribution&id=6563477] College and Motherhood - A Contribution
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