Why Do Mums Feel Guilty?

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Emma_MacDonald]Emma MacDonald
As a Mum and as a wife I always feel I could do better. I reflect at the end of the day and think I should have been more patient with the children, I should have spent more time playing with the children, I should have cleaned more around the house. However I work 3 days a week, I do not spend a lot of time sitting around watching TV, I do clean, tidy, cook and wash and I do play and read with the children. I feel that most of the time I am doing so many things that nothing is actually done properly! It is because of this when I asked my husband to describe me using one word he said a frog (because I leap from one thing to another). I am sure that I am not the only parent to feel like this so what can we do:
1. Do Not Be So Hard on Yourself
Something at the end of the day has got to give, but what. I strive to be a good Mum, I do not want to live in a messy, dirty house and I need to work to pay the bills. The most logical answer would be to stop beating myself up and thinking about what I should have done but this is easier said.
2. Address One Thing At a Time
Is there a particular guilt that you feel you can do something about? One of my biggest guilt's was that I did not spend much quality time with my son. Whilst he is at nursery or at the football I get some one on one time with my daughter to play, read and sing songs. There was no time during the week that I got to spend time with my son on my own. I found that when I did things with my son he had to share this time with his sister. Now with help from my husband he takes our daughter for a couple of hours to spend time with her and I use this time to do something with my son. His choice this week was painting and sticking. We normally do arts and crafts, but this was different as I was able to give my son all of my attention, which is considerably less when his younger sister is around.
3. Ask For Help
I can find this hard. If Lived near my Mum my children would be whisked away so that I could catch up on housework and also spend some time with just my husband. I also believe that if we had the spare cash, money on a cleaner would also be money well spent. We ask for help through my husbands Aunt who is a fantastic help and my husband and I do get out without the children regularly. We also call on my father in law and his partner to help out. This help is just to help our relationship as after nearly splitting up we realised how important having time together was.
4. Be Thankful For What You Have Got
I sometimes lose focus and have to remind myself of all the things I am thankful for and all I have achieved. I do not think there is anything wrong in wanting more, in fact I think it is a good thing as it gives you drive to succeed. However there is no point in getting stressed about things that we can not change.
I am happy with the path my life is taking and being a married Mum was always my top goal in life. I now want to make a success of being a Mum, a wife and of being Me. However I still reflect and I still feel guilt. Perhaps this will always be the case and I have a sneaky suspicion that this may increase the older my children get.
What are your thoughts? Do you reflect? Do you feel guilt? How do you overcome the feeling that I could do better?
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